The Arrival
by Giwu
Summary: SPOILERS FOR ONE TO GO GSR. What happens in the jungle, stays in the jungle. Rating will be changed to M in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: It has been a long time since I had the urge to write anything. This is a sequel to The Journey of 1000 Miles and The Destination, but it can stand alone. Thanks much to the wonderful M for the quick beta. You are a rock star! The next chapter will be posted by January 26th. Enjoy. There will be smut!

The hard part was finished. He walked out of the lab and into the bright sunlight. As he said many years before, there had been no party and no cake. The final moments he spent with his coworkers were personal, yet dignified; with barely contained emotions threatening to boil to the surface. He climbed into his car and drove to the hotel he called home for the past month, ever since he sold his furniture and the townhouse. After Sara left, it hadn't seemed like much of a home anymore.

At the hotel he took a thorough shower and washed the invisible grime of the DJK from his body. "I will never be there again," he said to his reflection in the mirror. He debated for a full thirty seconds about whether or not to shave his beard. He knew the jungle floor of Costa Rica would be brutally hot and it would be more sanitary to be clean shaven. But he knew Sara liked the softness of the whiskers on her body.

Staring in the mirror a while longer, he wondered if she would be glad to see him? Would she know that this decision was his final one and he was choosing to spend the rest of his life with her?

He threw his clothes away. It seemed like the smart thing to do. He only had a few minutes left until it was time to check out, so there was no time to do laundry and he couldn't throw them in a box to leave them unwashed for months. He finished packing his rucksack and took one last look at the room. It would be a long time before he would have the luxury of indoor plumbing and electricity, let alone room service and satellite television.

The drive to his storage unit passed without incident. He unloaded the half a dozen boxes containing the remnants of his office. He had thoughtfully left the fetal pig behind, in the bottom drawer of the desk. He laughed to himself as he thought of the yelp Catherine would give when she went to open the drawer. But then, knowing Catherine and her organization skills, it could be months before she had a use for that extra file drawer. But it might be less with Conrad's promotion and all the double shifts she was likely to pull as a result.

Carefully pulling his car into the storage space, he found that he almost had to climb out through the sunroof. He may have possessed a genius IQ, but in his hurry to get on with his life, he hadn't left enough room to open the door. He did have to climb over the seat and exit through the rear passenger door.

Walking to the storage complex office, he called the taxi company.

He paid for a year in advance, even though he knew he would be back sooner than that. He made polite small talk with the receptionist and gave her Jim's contact information. He would be the one to call if anything happened to the storage space while he was gone. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the cab pull up outside. Before he knew it, he was through security at McCarran and on the plane.

Houston had been a complete blur and he slept fitfully on both planes. Nine hours later he landed at the Juan Santamaria International Airport in San Jose, Costa Rica. When the first blast of humidity hit his face he had a moment of complete culture shock.

He let his mind wander to what he would be doing if he was in Vegas. Probably just waking up, having that first cup of coffee with CNN or Discovery playing in the background. He also wondered how Greg and Hank were getting along.

Greg insisted he would be a foster parent to Hank, but no matter what he would always belong to Sara and Grissom. Each time Grissom visited him during that last month, he felt like an intruder. Hank had taken a liking to one of Greg's dolls – no, action figure (as Greg had firmly corrected) from his childhood. Seeing Hank gently carry around a plastic GI Joe action figure made him wish Sara was there to see their "baby."

It was almost midnight when he was finally dropped off in front of the offices of the Scientific Coalition of the Americas. As promised, the director had waited for him. The man wanted to personally escort him from the airport, but Gil reassured him that he really didn't need to try and recruit or impress him. "Dr. Primicias, I know I should play hard to get, but I want the job if you'll have me," he said. Their phone interview only lasted fifteen minutes and Primicias unsuccessfully kept his excitement in check at the prospect of signing Grissom.

A small Hispanic man rushed to him as soon as he opened the door. "Dr. Grissom, I presume! Was your flight uneventful? Here, let me help you with your bags," he said. His English was heavily accented and he almost ripped Gil's arm out the socket with his eagerness to lift the rucksack from his back.

"Please, call me Gil, and thank you," he said.

"I am Francisco and I must admit I am a bit of a romantic," Primicias replied with a wink. "While Sara does not gush and give many details of her personal life, it was obvious carries a sense of…loss. I knew from her interviews she lost no family members recently, and so your appearance is the missing piece of her puzzle."

"Well, Francisco, I must confess…I don't know how well I'll be received," he said.

Francisco laughed heartily. "Let us not ruin the fantasy with such trivial concerns. My grandmother was a faith healer and a mystic of a sort. I have good feelings about this, so perhaps some of her gifts passed to me."

Gil smiled slightly, "I'm not sure if I would call not knowing if she will take me back a trivial concern, but I do know nothing more can be done tonight. She still doesn't know I am coming?"

"No, I have respected your wishes," said Francisco. "She does know she is receiving a new partner tomorrow, but I have politely ignored her questions. And this was no easy task." He waved his hand for Gil to follow and led him into a comfortably furnished office. "Each day we conduct a brief video chat with each of our teams in the field – or the jungle in this case. You will be several kilometers from the nearest road or village. Every week, you will be delivered food and supplies. You will have your own computer and the battery supply will give you about three hours of power each day."

The two men chatted amiably about the project and the conditions. It was going to be very primitive, but Gil knew the lack of technology and modern conveniences could be more of a benefit, rather than a drawback. He stifled a yawn and Francisco looked at him with a mixture of consternation and shame.

"Your journey has been very long and here I sit talking away like an old woman! Please, allow me to show you to our dormitory and at first light we will put you on the supply truck for your next adventure," he said.

They passed through a couple of rooms and wove in and out of several stacks of boxes. Francisco opened a door to a room that couldn't be any bigger than Gil's office. "_Wait_," he thought, "_my former office_."

The room had two metal bunk beds and a couple of footlockers in it. A door at one end was open and Gil could see the commode and a sink.

"It is probably not what you are used to, but there is a shower with some water pressure," said Francisco. "In the morning I will bring you some breakfast. My wife makes some of the finest eggs you have ever tasted."

Gil nodded and smiled, "I appreciate that. I'm not sure how well my cooking skills will fare in the field."

"I believe the next few months will find you either thriving on the adjustments you must make or you will come to feel they are your greatest torment," said Francisco knowingly.

The two men shook hands and Francisco took his leave. Gil sat down cautiously on one of the lower bunks. He removed his shirt, socks and boots, but decided to keep his pants. He punched the pillow a couple of times before reaching for the thin blanket folded at the end of the bed. His dreams that night varied from the sublime, where Sara threw herself into his arms, to the nightmare in which she immediately rejected him.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks again to the divine Miss M for her amazing beta job. I appreciate the time that you take both with content and with my writing patterns. You are amazing. I am encouraging everyone to put this story on their story alert. I do not know when the next chapter will be ready only because I need to do a crash course in Costa Rica, jungle living and field research. I do try for some realism to my stories, but I have never been to Costa Rica and I am not much of a science geek. I will do my best to post as soon as possible.

I could use some help with some visual details. Anyone who has the ability to pause the last scene in high def, please PM me.

Thanks to all who reviewed. You make writing this a blast!

Chapter 2

Sara was awake before it was daylight. She listened to Jamie's impressive nocturnal vocalizations for as long as she could stand and then tried to quietly exit the tent to relieve herself. It was like navigating a complex obstacle course while wearing a blindfold. Crates were crammed in the center of the tent and formed a makeshift wall; giving them each a modicum of privacy. Jamie's gear was neatly packed, but sitting a little too close to the doorway. She accidentally stubbed her toe on the frame of his rucksack and gritted her teeth.

After she had used their camp toilet she washed her face and began making coffee. Normally, Jamie was the one who woke first and handled the breakfast detail. _"Old habits die hard," _she thought to herself.

She had worked well with Jamie these last six weeks, even though he was at his best first thing in the morning and she thrived during the late evening. Sometimes he was just too damn perky, but she would miss him.

As much as Jamie had wanted to remain at camp and continue the research, his wife had decided that four months had been long enough for him to be away from her and their five children. Sometimes, Sara could overhear the video chats he had with his wife and kids, and it made her ache in a way she hadn't known existed.

More often than not, she didn't directly think of Grissom or Vegas anymore. She figured it was her mind giving her a respite from the pain always there just under the surface. Her video chats were always with her mother, who was usually very upbeat and was able to appear enthralled with whatever Sara had to say. In true hippie fashion, her mother had been a philosophy major in college and sometimes Sara was convinced that her eyes would glaze over when she would get too caught up in some of the more scientific information.

She had just finished making the eggs and oatmeal when she heard Jamie cough. A few minutes later he was rustling around in the tent and appeared at the doorway a little bleary eyed.

"Wow, is this a mirage or did a beautiful woman just make me breakfast?" he said. Without waiting for an answer, he left the small clearing and went in the general direction of the toilet area. When he came back he was carrying a metal pan full of water which he placed on the grill. "What prompted you to make a fire instead of using the field stove?"

"I wanted to impress you," Sara said. Initially, his flirting and casual behavior caught her off guard. Once she realized he was just teasing, he reminded her a lot of Greg. Their conversations quickly evolved into a great deal of good-natured bantering. However, both of them were reduced to some viciously creative name-calling at night when they played cribbage or rummy.

He swept a mock bow. "Madam, the mere sight of your face is enough to do that to a lonely, old man."

She threw the towel she was using as a makeshift hot pad straight at his head. He was six months younger than she and oftentimes referred to her as a senior citizen. She was going to miss him a lot. And that reminded Sara she was getting a new partner, and she frowned.

"Now, now, pretty girl," he said. "I know you will miss me beyond all measures, but do try to get on with your life." He stuck out his tongue and she couldn't help but laugh. It didn't make her worry any less, though. She still had four and a half months left on her contract and she knew every minute would drag on mercilessly if she was assigned someone wholly incompatible. She sent up a silent and heartfelt prayer to what she hoped would be a benevolent God.

As they ate breakfast the sun began its ascent. They sat quietly as the jungle began to wake up in earnest. Originally, she had been overwhelmed by the cacophony of noises, but now they seemed more like soothing background music.

Their morning was routine. They tested the air, water and soil, as they always did, and recorded the results. Jamie packed his rucksack and finished packing his duffle. He would carry his pack out of the jungle, but it would be three days before the duffle wase picked up by the supply team and four days before it made it to San Jose.

They ate a quiet lunch and as they finished, Jamie pointed at the lowest branch of the tree across the camp. "Look, Sara," he said softly. "Fred's coming closer every day. I'll move into the tent to distract him and maybe you can get a couple of good shots."

Sara looked dubiously at the capuchin monkey. He was notoriously camera shy, but she quietly opened the camera case. Once the camera was ready, she nodded at Jamie. He didn't stand up, but crawled away toward the tent. He had been right; Fred was fascinated and watched him while Sara was able to sneak closer. She focused the camera and was able to take two pictures while Fred rooted around the leaves.

CSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSI

He checked the GPS for what he hoped would be the last time. The trail had been easy enough to follow, but it was incredibly humid. He finished his water a while ago and was wishing he had carried two canteens. When the guide left him at the trailhead he told him that it would be less than an hour at a leisurely pace. Grissom's body had been aching ever since waking on the lumpy mattress in the dormitory.

In a moment of clarity, Gil realized that barely more than twenty four hours ago he was staring at the bright lights of Vegas after closing the case on DJK. Now he was walking through the jungle, nearly three thousand miles and a whole lifetime away from Vegas. Idly he wondered if he would ever see a dead body again.

Mentally, he stopped to calculate the time difference and to take a moment to think about what everyone was doing. Invariably, as he ran through the roll call of CSIs, he thought of Warrick. A wave of sadness swept through his mind, and he wished he could have left _all_ of his team safely behind.

With each step his pack seemed heavier. Francisco had helped him to repack his gear. He was a bit confused at first, when Francisco tried explaining to him that he would only take what he absolutely needed and could carry into the camp. But when he assured him the rest would be delivered with the weekly supplies, Gil understood.

Two of the personal items made Francisco smile broadly, and Gil had actually blushed at the raised eyebrows. It had been in a moment of ludicrous optimism which caused him to pack them in his duffle.

He checked the GPS again. This time it seemed like he was almost on top of the arrow. It couldn't be much longer. "_Oh, God, what if I have made the biggest mistake of my life?_ _I have no job to go back to, no home; what will I do if she doesn't want me anymore_?" he asked himself. For a split second he considered turning around. Only somehow he knew it would be worse spending the rest of his life wondering 'what if' rather than being rejected.

The humidity seemed to swirl in a mist around him. Sweat gathered in every crease on his body and poured down his back. It felt like his pack was melting into his body.

He paused momentarily when he found a grasshopper sunning itself on a leaf. It brought a lift to the corner of his mouth and he relaxed a little. . A few steps later and he rounded a curve to see a couple pair of pants on a makeshift clothesline.

Then he saw her. Her hair was still short. He liked her hair short. But then he would have liked her hair if it was cut into a mohawk and died purple at that point.

Gil gasped softly to himself and for a moment it hurt to breathe. She was facing away from him aiming a camera into the trees. The camera case sat on the ground at her feet.

Something made Sara pause. She turned around and at first her expression was coldly impassive. His heart sank and it felt like his lungs were going to burst. Then her expression appeared incredulous. He shifted and smiled slightly. He took two steps toward her and she tentatively returned the smile. He was sure he saw her eyes welling with tears. Gil's heart beat an increased rhythm against his chest and slid his backpack off and let it fall to the ground.

She didn't run to him, she glided. He reached for Sara and wrapped his arms around her. Their lips touched gently. He tightened his arms and she hugged him closer. They were molded to each other as if they were somehow trying to occupy the same space. She was the one who deepened the kiss and increased the intensity. He never wanted to leave this spot in the jungle.

A soft noise and then someone pointedly clearing his throat reminded them both that more than a monkey was watching them.

"Holy liplock, Batman!" said Jamie. "How come I didn't get that type of greeting when I met you the first time?"


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I know, I know, it took me a very long time to post this. I kept bouncing back and forth as to whether I wanted to write some fluffy smut or something that did have a science/Costa Rica base to it. I still haven't decided, but fluffy smut is in the lead!

Chapter Three

Gil gave her a little squeeze before they stepped away from each other to face Jamie. Sara couldn't help but feel her face redden. In her wildest dreams, she never thought the replacement would be Gil. She shook her head as if that would help her believe it faster. Gil. Was. Here.

"Gil…" she paused to clear her throat and tried to speak again. How had her mouth suddenly become so dry?

"Jamie Katz," said Jamie smoothly extending his hand. "I can honestly say I have never seen Sara at a loss for words. I really feel I should either document this in writing or take great advantage of it."

Gil smiled broadly. "I know exactly what you mean," he said shaking Jamie's hand.

Sara swallowed and finally was able to speak the words. "Jamie, this is Gil Grissom. He's…we worked…" she helplessly trailed off.

"I'm an entomology expert," said Gil confidently. "And I hope I'm still her fiancée." His first sentence was directed to Jamie, but he turned his head and looked at her for the latter.

Sara was saved from answering Gil. Jamie's eyes were as big as saucers, his mouth was wide open and it was his turn to be speechless. Something clicked in Sara's mind and she raised the camera and snapped a picture of him. It would probably be out of focus, but he looked as if he was about 10 years old.

"I really wish I could be a fly on the tent wall tonight," said Jamie. He then winced, "And for once I'm not even being perverted."

"Is there someplace I can put my bag?" Gil asked, attempting to change the subject.

Sara seemed to come out of her coma and pointed to the tent. Not just _a_ tent, but tonight it would be _their_ tent. She struggled to remind herself she had vocal chords. With a subtle grin, Gil moved to the tent and opened the flaps.

After he entered the tent, Jamie looked at Sara and grinned wickedly. "Is there, by any chance, something you neglected to tell me?"

"Even if I could find the words Jamie, I don't think I could explain it all in three minutes or less," she said.

He filled up two canteens and hooked them to his belt. "I really am going to regret not being here tonight," he said. He laced his hiking boots tighter and reached for his rucksack.

Gil emerged from the tent to find Jamie giving Sara a hug that lingered. He couldn't help feeling a twinge of envy toward Jamie, who had been out in the jungle with her all this time. "If I hadn't been such and idiot, it could have been me," he thought.

Jamie stepped back from her. "Be sure to make plans to stop by Springfield in a few months so you can collect the $517.25 I owe you," he said.

She snorted. "Like I believed I'd ever see a penny of your cribbage debt."

Jamie smiled and winked at her. Again he held his hand out to Gil. "It really has been great to meet you. I'm sorry I can't stay, but I want to be luxuriating under a hot shower well before dark," he said. He looked at them both. "I promise I will send you a couple of great care packages." He waved and within a few moments, disappeared down the same path Gil had just traveled.

In the weeks she had been in the jungle, it was never silent. The noises were different than the city. But there was always activity. The wind blowing through the trees. The monkeys chattering to each other. Yet, Sara heard none of them as she and Gil stood alone.

"Sara," he began and she held up her hand silencing him.

"I need to sit down," she said.

She pointed to the tent they used as an office and mini laboratory. She sat down in one of the chairs, while Gil moved a pile of equipment from the other chair and placed it next to her. He sat facing her and waited patiently.

Sara stared at the clearing for a long time. Finally, she spoke.

"There are visas to get. There are interviews. There is a 40 hour orientation course that everyone has to complete. You didn't just decide this at the last minute. There is a weekly newsletter we get that discusses incoming and outgoing field researchers. There is always gossip and chatter about who is coming, what their specialty is, what they will be researching. I don't know whether to ask how or why you kept this from me," she said flatly.

Gil realized he had been an idiot to think the hard part of his journey would be saying goodbye to his coworkers. Mentally he had prepared himself to face Sara either angry or in tears to see him. Her indifference made his stomach drop and he felt a coldness descend through his body. He waited for a few seconds.

"Do you want me to answer?" he asked softly. She nodded.

"I did start the process months ago," he admitted. "I had three interviews done over a weekend in San Diego, where the SC has a satellite office for recruiting people. I thought I would have to call in a few favors, but I knew a couple of people who had worked for them previously." He went on to detail the rest of the process Sara was familiar with. The paperwork, the physical, orientation, visa requirements. He chose not to detail the conversations where he had asked that Sara not be informed.

"That explains the 'how' part, what about the 'why'?" she asked. "Why didn't you email me and tell me you were taking a leave of absence?"

He cleared his throat. He was starting to sweat again, this time more profusely than when he walked through the jungle. He put his hand on her knee.

"Sara, please look at me," he said softly, but there was a note of urgent pleading to his tone. She turned and looked at him as he took one last deep breath before he plunged ahead, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I couldn't take the chance that it would be too easy for you to tell me it was over, to tell me you never wanted to see me again, to tell me not to come in an email."

A single tear ran down her face. He reached up to wipe it away and she grasped his hand in hers. More tears followed and she leaned over as he held her awkwardly. "I didn't want to live my life without you," she said. "I didn't know how to live my life without you and I knew I had to get as far away from you as possible to have any hope of figuring it out."

"Well, I noticed that there were postings in Antarctica, so I am really glad you didn't go as far away as you could," he said.

She laughed through her tears. "I didn't think I could stand the six months of twilight during the winter months," she said. "But I did consider it."

They sat like that for a long time. Sara, half in her chair and half in his lap, supported by the cocoon of his arms. Finally, she sniffled for the last time and asked, "What do we do now?"

"Honey, I know you are going to find this hard to believe after that kiss, but I want to take this slow," he said. A laugh erupted from the back of her throat. "No, I'm serious. The very first time we got together in San Francisco, we had a time limit of just the summer. When we started again in Vegas, it was always hanging over our heads that the house of cards we were building could come crashing down at any time. I can't really woo you or take you to the best restaurants in the jungle, but I want to do this right, at a pace that is comfortable for both of us."

She sat up and wiped her face one last time. Then, she said the words that made Gil's day. "I could agree to that."

She stood and reached for a backpack and a couple of canteens. "We need to take the afternoon soil, water and air samples," she said. "I'm going to wash my face and fill a couple of canteens. You have time to change your shirt before I show you the territory we cover."

Gil looked at his shirt, now soaked in his sweat and her tears. He hoped it wasn't a premonition of things to come. It used to take so much to send Sara over the edge. Natalie had taken away some of her defenses and she was more vulnerable.

He rifled through the small pack he had left on the cot. By the time he changed his shirt, Sara was waiting. He took his first good look at the campsite.

Gil reached for the canteen she proffered. He didn't think he could say anything more that could shock her, but he was wrong. "Sara, there's just one more thing," he said. "I didn't take a leave of absence from CSI. I quit."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: First of all, a couple of disclaimers. 1) I have not watched CSI since Grissom left the lab. Feel free to call any and all elements of this story AU, Non-canon or OOC, but I will be writing on the premise that Grissom joined Sara in Costa Rica and these are how the events unfolded. While my goal is to finish this story, it may not be as long as the two previous GSR stories I wrote. Yes, there will be smut! Also, I do encourage you to put this on your updates list, since I make no promises about my publishing schedule.

Chapter Four

That night, Sara lay on her cot in agony. She was remarkably restless, but refused to shift her position as often as she wanted to. She knew Grissom was on the other side of the barrier of boxes she had Jamie created to give them each a modicum of privacy. She also knew from previous experience that she could hear every sound Jamie made and vice versa. Every movement she made would cause the cot to creak and Grissom would know she was still awake. She kept her breathing deep and even and tried to utilize every relaxation technique she had ever been taught. Yet, it was useless and sleep eluded her. The only thing that caused her a moment of victory was that Grissom was awake as well. After years of sleeping in the same bed she knew he snored like a chain saw attacking an oak tree. His side of the tent was also silent.

Her thoughts were a torrential whirlwind in her head and she could not get settled. She took a deep breath and tried to make a list of all that was zooming through her mind. Number One: Grissom was here. Number Two: Grissom quit the lab. Number Three: Grissom was here. Number Four: He had sold the townhouse. Number Five: Grissom was here. She faded off to sleep as the birds began to chirp with the same thoughts repeating. _Grissom…here…Grissom_.

She awoke with a start and was temporarily confused. Then she heard the familiar rustle of Gil getting dressed. In her mind she could practically dress him by the sounds she heard. There was a pause of silence and she knew he was finished dressing. He noticeably cleared his throat.

"Sara? I'm not exactly sure what we do next," he said softly.

She bit back a rueful smile as she contemplated the numerous implications in that statement. Personally, the thought was 100 percent mutual. But she knew his statement wasn't discussing their current impasse. She sat up and coughed to clear her throat. She would keep the sarcasm out of her voice. They had worked together 1000 times, only this time she was the teacher and he was the student.

"It's a pretty easy daily routine, Gil," she said. "Jamie was more of a morning person, so he usually used the facilities first. I showed you where the toilet and makeshift shower were yesterday. Jamie preferred to shave, just because he thought it was more sanitary, but a lot of the guys at different sites don't shave. Anyway, while he would make the coffee and shave while I did my thing."

He left the tent and she quickly got dressed and went to the camp stove. By the time he returned she had the coffee almost ready and was in the process of making eggs and rice. He watched her without comment. He tried to appear nonchalant, but inside he was feeling very awkward and out of his element. She cleared away some papers from a multipurpose table and placed the bowls on the table. She waved her hand and they sat down to eat. All of this was very mundane and predictable, yet the tension was thick in the air. He wondered if she could smell his fear.

Midway through the meal she put him out of his misery and began to explain the basic rhythm and routine of the site. Whenever she trailed off or became silent he would ask a question and keep her lecture of sorts from concluding.

That was how it was for the next three days. When they spoke, it was work related. She was never unfriendly, just not overly inviting. Meal times were silent and each night seemed to last for 100 hours. He knew Sara was not sleeping; she grew paler and more peaked.

CSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSI

_The water was rushing in and she was trapped underneath the car. She struggled with all of her strength to break free and was still trapped. She gasped as she began to drown. This is how she would die. Alone. Would they find her body? Would Gil and the team ever forgive themselves? What would become of her mother? She would never find her brother. In a Herculean effort she wrenched free and climbed out from underneath the car that which had almost become her watery coffin. As she stood on shaky legs, choking back her panic, a clap of thunder echoed and bolt of lightning zigzagged across the sky illuminating the area for just a brief moment._

_Natalie was less than a foot away with a pistol aimed at her head._

"Sara? Sara, honey…wake up. You're safe now…well as safe as you can be in the rain forest," Gil tried to joke. He had tripped over boxes to get to her side of the tent when he heard her scream. He could feel the blood running down his leg and he didn't care. She had been crying in her sleep.

Sara gasped and tried to restore her breathing. She was sitting up and her chest was heaving as she gulped the air around her. It was pitch black in the tent and Gil was kneeling next to her cot. She wiped away a combination of sweat and tears.

"I try not to think about her…but she invades my subconscious," she said.

Gil was sure his heart and mind were breaking. "I know," he said. "I wish there was something I could do, I wish I had done more when it happened. I should have figured it out sooner who she was."

Sara shook her head. "I don't blame you for anything," she said softly.

He reached for her blindly in the dark and she held his hand between hers. He choked back a sob and said with heartfelt anguish, "I am so, so sorry."

A moment of silence stretched into seconds as they stayed so very still. She sitting on her cot and him kneeling awkwardly on the floor. She reached out tentatively and felt the tears on his face. She pulled him toward her and after a few attempts they were lying together on the cot, facing each other. The cot was ridiculously too small and parts of each of their bodies were hanging off the edge. It was uncomfortable and they held each other tightly, like both of them were depending on the other for survival. This is how Sara drifted into a wonderfully dreamless sleep.


End file.
